North County Forum - San Diego County Promoting progressive causes, education and culture since 1997    Rocky Velgos, Artistic Director of Letters to the Editor Awards Night, relaxing during a break in the rehearsal DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION'S BAN ON DISCRIMINATION Between now and November, North County Forum will participate in a coalition with organizations and individuals opposed to the proposition which would amend the California Constitution to permit discrimination against same-sex couples. In May, 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled that Proposition 22, a 2000 initiative which limited marriage to "one man, one woman" was unconstitutional. Religious groups which backed Prop. 22 anticipated this ruling and paid for petitions to put a constitutional amendment on November's ballot. Prop. 22 passed 60-40%, but a lot has changed since 2000. For one thing, lots of young people have turned eighteen, and are generally not as rigid and homophobic as the voters they have replaced. And attitudes have changed or, to use the E-word, evolved. Also, same-sex marriage has been legal in Massachusetts since 2004 with no ill effects. And by November we'll have five months of news stories about joyous weddings and same-sex couples in California. It especially offends me that the religious right pretends that the Bible decrees that marriage is only for a man and woman, and that this is a big deal. It should be mentioned that these are the same "values" people who haven't spoken a word or lifted a finger to stop Bush's criminal war on Iraq. And it should be pointed out to these so-called Christians that Jesus Christ never uttered a word against homosexuality, and that the 128 commandments (there are way more than ten) in Exodus 20-23 don't say anything against homosexuality either. These "religious" people are either very ignorant of their own religion, or are cynically using it to impose their own narrow  views and lifestyle on everyone else.  Yes,  some passages in the Bible condemn homosexuality, but it also condemns eating pork and shellfish, but you never see those hypocrites picketing Red Lobster. As Rocky Velgos said: "It has been well established that our sexual orientation, whatever it may be, is involuntary and fixed. The only choices gay men and women make are the same ones the rest of us make -- the many decisions relating to our day-to-day behavior." If you wish to be involved in exposing the lies behind this discriminatory proposition, contact Dick Eiden at ncforum@sbcglobal.net. March 13, 2008 Remembering Rocky Velgos: Vistan championed rights for homosexual community By: KATHY DAY - For the North County Times VISTA -- Rocky Velgos, who frequently sparked debate as a tireless activist on behalf of San Diego County's homosexual community, was a passionate advocate who had a special way of stimulating conversation, his friends and family said. Velgos, 79, a longtime letter writer to the North County Times, died Monday from throat cancer. The Vista resident had been married for 56 years to his wife, Jeanette. The couple began speaking out for fair treatment of gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexual individuals in 1988, after learning that two of their sons were gay, Jeanette Velgos said Wednesday. "We didn't make any special effort to do anything about it until we realized we didn't know any other gay people or parents of gays," she said. Years ago, when the Velgoses saw a newspaper column about a group called Parents, Friends, and Families of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), they contacted the San Diego chapter. Within six months, they were leading the group. In the early 1990s, the couple organized a forum at Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Carlsbad. That meeting resulted in regular North County gatherings of the group. Rocky Velgos' outspoken views often drew angry responses from some North County Times readers who didn't like his letters, including his final missive, which appeared in the newspaper on Feb. 29. Velgos' letter read, in part: "I'm periodically dismayed to read on these pages that some still believe being gay is a choice when it has been well established that our sexual orientation, whatever it may be, is involuntary and fixed. The only choices gay men and women make are the same ones the rest of us make -- the many decisions relating to our day-to-day behavior." Dick Eiden, another local activist, called Velgos "one of the most amazing people I've ever known." Eiden and Velgos had been friends for 10 years since meeting through the North County Forum, a group that "promotes progressive causes" in North County. Eiden said one of Velgos' most enduring legacies will be his oft-used phrase that "homosexuality is just a part of the tremendous diversity of nature." The Rev. Madison Shockley, pastor of the Carlsbad church, said Wednesday that "it's hard to measure the impact of Rocky. He was quite a character -- a positive and forceful person." That force was felt as late as Sunday afternoon, as Velgos was enjoying another of his passions -- his play readings, Shockley said. Velgos and some friends had gathered to read and discuss a version of Jeffery Scott's "Man and God, Having a Few Beers and Talking Things Over," his wife said. The title represented exactly what he loved about the readings, she added: "It was a way to get people talking." After the reading, Velgos asked his wife to drive home, but on their way he began coughing and gasping for breath, she said. The couple drove directly to Tri-City Hospital, where he died Monday afternoon from constriction of his windpipe related to cancer. He had been diagnosed with inoperable throat and neck cancer two years ago. Treatment had enabled him to live two more years, his wife said. Born on Oct. 15, 1928, Velgos was raised in Hamtramck, Mich., a suburb of Detroit. He met his wife at a Polish wedding, Jeanette Velgos recalled. Besides his wife, Velgos is survived by sons Eric of Scottsdale, Ariz., Guy of Tucson, Ariz., Neal of Philadelphia, Jay of Austin, Texas, and daughters Aleta of Fresno and Monica of Cambridge, Mass., and 11 grandchildren. He was preceded in death six years ago by daughter Nina. A memorial service is scheduled for 1 p.m. March 29 at Pilgrim United Church of Christ in Carlsbad. The family suggests that donations in Rocky Velgos' memory be sent to Habitat for Humanity or Solutions for Change in Vista.